RHINO OF THE YEAR 2000 - 2003 LANCE ARMSTRONG

National and world champion cyclist, two time Olympian, renowned humanitarian, role model, cancer survivor, and now winner of the 1999 Tour De France, Lance Armstrong is clearly one of the most celebrated and charismatic contributors to the sport of cycling. He not only made world headlines in Paris on July 25, 1999 with the most stunning comeback ever in the history of sport, but the personal side of this resounding triumph brought Lance's life and career full circle. To say that he is an emotional athlete is an understatement. To say that he is a passionate and fearless competitor is evident. However, what may not be so readily apparent is the depth of character and generosity of spirit that is so much a part of the psychological blueprint of this modest and straightforward hero...

We are proud to name fellow Austenite, Lance Armstrong, Rhino of the year 2000-2003. What a guy! What a comeback! What a great role model and Inspiration for fellow Rhinos and Rhino want-to-bees. Keep on charging, Lance. We love you.

RHINO OF THE YEAR 1999 Vic Feazell, President of One Horn Productions

This guy has done it all. Farm worker, factory worker, preacher, social worker, psychotherapist, lawyer, elected public official and now he’s acting and producing movies. His biggest claim to fame, as a RHINO, was when he was arrested by the Feds while running for re-election as the District Attorney of Waco, Texas. (Perhaps you’ve heard of that place.)

Not only did he win the election and the criminal case, a six-week trial, but he turned around charging like the RHINO he is and sued everyone involved in his arrest and prosecution. After a two-year battle, he became one of Texas’ newest millionaires. Now he makes movies. What’s Vic’s philosophy on the movie business? “I’ll keep making ‘em ‘till I run out of money. I can always go back to practicing law…I guess,… if I have to.”

Many of those involved in Vic’s arrest and prosecution were the same people involved in “Ruby Ridge” and the “Siege at Waco”. Vic is not a fan of “Big Brother”.

His favorite books include Awareness by Anthony de Mello and Zen And The Brain by James H. Austin M.D.

Rhinoisms

Bell's Palsy - facial paralysis that may develop due to stress (as in the case of Emmett Schmotkin). It's what you get if you're not a real Rhino.

Cold Pizza - what to feed a Rhino ("… if something tastes good cold, it's fucking good..." - Brick Hawthorne)

"Look at me, now look at you" - what to say to humble a Rhino.

One Horn Production - what a Rhino ends up with after shooting himself in the foot.

Platinum Bullet - the only thing that can penetrate the skin of a Rhino (according to Ogden Nash).

"Trust me" - the last words from the mouth of a Rhino before a One Horn Production. Also how they say "Fuck You" in business.